Father’s death triggers a terrible fear and anxiety in the author. Time stops. He lies paralyzed in a garden swing, thinking about drowning himself.
Gradually he realizes that he has to let himself be influenced by his father’s deeds, not his death. ’You have to go in there, that is life’, he hears his father’s last words in his ears.
In the end it’s down to cake, the library, and volleyball – these are the reasons to live, and the sources of hope.